I often feel a bit like that bloke from Rumpelstiltskin who rounded up all the spinning wheels in the kingdom and burnt them. It is what I would like to do with the vast majority of coffee tables worldwide. Ugly, lumps that sit in the middle of a room, bruising your ankles and offending your line of vision. I have never found a coffee table that I would part with money for. Actually that’s not true. I found a rock table made from forest brown Indian marble that looked like a camera image of the fossilised insides of a human artery. Except possibly even more beautiful. Unfortunately it was too expensive, out of stock and would have required a crane, sixty strong men and major new underpinnings to the front of the house. Hence my drinks balance precariously on a little side table, snacks go on the floor and I have to refrain from buying large, glossy hardbacks with titles like ‘International Typographic Style and the development of the sans-serif typeface, version three” and “Wuthering heights as a socio-economic novel, the Marxist Interpretation.” This probably makes me a more palatable human being, but it does not solve the snack issue. To that end I occasionally relaunch the hunt for the holy grail of interior design, a decent coffee table. I think I have actually managed to unearth a few. Still can’t bring myself to buy one. I haven’t quite got the image of the fossilised insides of a human artery out of my system. In a good way.
Anthropologie, Rounded Inlay Coffee Table, £1,100.00, www.anthropologie.eu West Elm, Carved Wood Coffee Table, £254.00, www.westelm.co.uk Made in Design, Marble Large Coffee table – Ø 70,5 x H 35 cm – Ferm Living, £307.70, www.madeindesign.co.uk Jonathan Adler, Scalinatella Cocktail Table £1,950.00, www.jonathanadler.com Mint, rain effect table, POA, www.mint.co.uk Ikea, LÖVBACKEN Coffee table, medium brown, £60, www.ikea.co.uk John Lewis Asha Iron Tray Coffee Table, £325, www.johnlewis.com Tom Dixon, Flash Table Square, £535.00, www.tomdixon.net Heals, Ligne Roset Interstice Low Table, £1,455, www.heals.co.uk